The Internet Tribune • September 11, 2026 “The Internet Isn’t Dead — It’s Just Getting Started” Page E6

Horoscopes

Your Stars for Thursday, September 11, 2026 — Opening Day Edition

All signs interpreted in light of today’s historic opening of our unnamed internet town. The stars have been consulted. They had mixed feelings but ultimately supportive ones.

♈ Aries

Mar. 21 – Apr. 19

A new beginning arrives today, and unlike most new beginnings, this one comes with an actual ribbon to cut. You are temperamentally suited for launches. Stay out of the way of more cautious people during the setup phase and let your energy loose once the scissors are ready. Avoid overcommitting before noon.

♉ Taurus

Apr. 20 – May 20

Stability comes to those who build it deliberately. You are not a person who rushes, which today serves you well: the people who showed up two hours early were too nervous to enjoy the moment. You arrived at the right time and saw exactly what needed to be seen. Continue being the person who arrives at the right time.

♊ Gemini

May 21 – Jun. 20

Two narratives are in tension today: the narrative of what this town promises to be, and the narrative of what it actually is so far. You are uniquely positioned to hold both. Do not resolve the tension prematurely. Let both stories develop. One of them will prove more important in six months; you do not know which one yet.

♋ Cancer

Jun. 21 – Jul. 22

Home is the word on everyone’s lips today, and you feel it more than most. You moved here, or you are thinking about moving here, because something in the concept — a new place, a new internet, a clean beginning — spoke to something you have been looking for. Trust that feeling. It is pointing somewhere real.

♌ Leo

Jul. 23 – Aug. 22

You wanted to be at the front of the crowd today. That is fine. You were. But the most important thing that happened at the ceremony was not at the front — it was in the middle, where three hundred people stood still for an hour because a mayor they respect asked them to remember something. That is worth your attention.

♍ Virgo

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

Today marks a genuine new beginning. You are, as a Virgo, aware of the thousand things that could go wrong. You noted the sidewalk gap on Commerce Avenue. You noticed the vending machine coffee. These are legitimate concerns and they will be addressed. In the meantime: it is a very good day. Allow it to be a very good day.

♎ Libra

Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

You are trying to assess whether this town is what it says it is. You are right to be skeptical. Skepticism is the appropriate response to any opening-day promise. But skepticism is not the same as cynicism, and today the evidence leans toward genuine. Reserve judgment for six months from now, when the first difficult thing happens. That’s when you’ll know.

♏ Scorpio

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

You notice things others miss. Today you noticed the moment the mayor took a breath before the ribbon cut — the specific breath of a person who has been waiting for something for a very long time and wants to make sure they are present for it. You are right about what that breath meant. You are also the person who will remember it longest.

♐ Sagittarius

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

You have been saying for three years that someone should build a better internet. You are now in the town of someone who is trying to do that. The appropriate response is to help. Not from the outside. From inside. Get in there. It is why you came.

♑ Capricorn

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

You want to know the business case. You want to see the projections. You want to understand the path to profitability before you invest emotionally in any of this. That is fair. The business case exists and is available from the town development office. Once you have reviewed it, allow yourself to feel the other things. They will still be there.

♒ Aquarius

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

You have a vision of what the internet could be. You have had it for years. You are looking at a town that shares some version of that vision, imperfectly and expensively and in brick and glass on a Great Lakes shore. This is what a vision looks like when it becomes real: expensive, imperfect, and in need of your involvement to become what it claims to want to be.

♓ Pisces

Feb. 19 – Mar. 20

You felt something at the ceremony today that you cannot entirely name. That is fine. Not everything needs a name. The town itself doesn’t have a name yet. Enter the contest. Choose something that means what you felt. Sometimes the word you were looking for turns out to be a place.

Horoscopes by the Almanac Astrology Service, provided through Herb Fencl. For entertainment. Herb does not endorse astrology as a predictive science. He endorses it as “something people seem to need, like a good almanac.”