WELL, HERE WE ARE. A brand-new town. A brand-new internet. And not twenty minutes after the ribbon hit the ground, this reporter — who had positioned herself near the factory’s east parking lot with a cup of coffee and the specific alertness of a woman who has been doing this job for nine years — witnessed something that she is legally prevented from describing in full but spiritually unable to keep entirely to herself.
A certain fourth-ward alderman whose name this newspaper has seen fit to print extensively in the last twelve hours and who is, I am told, very sensitive about the coverage — was seen in the east parking lot, approximately fifteen minutes after the ceremony ended, engaged in an intense and whispered conversation with a woman who was not his wife, who was, by my sources’ account, “extremely well-dressed for ten-thirty on a Thursday,” and who departed in a car with out-of-state plates before anyone could get close enough to hear what was being said.
I am not saying anything. This is a family newspaper. I am merely noting, as any responsible journalist would note, that an intense whispered conversation in a parking lot is “a thing that happened” on this town’s first day.
Separately: a certain hockey coach — who is, by all accounts, a perfectly professional person — arrived at this morning’s ribbon cutting wearing what my sources describe as “a meaningful amount of cologne for a pre-noon outdoor event in September.” The cologne was, according to at least two people who stood downwind of him, “the kind that has a name.” No names were provided to me but I have my suspicions. Frank Drewicz, if you are reading this: I am not accusing you of anything. I am simply keeping an eye on things.
BLIND ITEM: Which well-respected member of the founding team — someone whose name appears in the business pages of this very newspaper — was seen Tuesday night, at the pre-opening dinner held at the Civic Center, placing what appeared to be a very small flask into their inside jacket pocket? The item is approximately wallet-sized, silver, and monogrammed. I am not saying this is a problem. Some people monogram their flasks. I merely wonder whose initials they are.
SOCIAL NOTES: Welcome to Marge Kuczynski, who has already organized the first St. Casimir’s potluck (this Saturday, 5 p.m., bring a dish, no internet devices). Welcome also to Zofia Deschamps, our new head librarian, who has excellent taste in cats. A warm Miss Bitty hello to Head Coach Tom Marthaler, who confirmed for this column that he has “no interest in being in the gossip column” and who therefore appears in this week’s gossip column.
The Internet’s Miss Bitty appears in this space every Thursday. Tips and submissions: 1-900-TRIB-TIP ($2.99/min., 18+) or a plain envelope slipped under the Tribune’s door. And folks, keep visiting http://www.theinternetlives.net for all the news fit to gossip about.